Thursday, March 31, 2011

Why are we single so late in life?

Americans are staying single longer and longer. Why? I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine and it confirmed for me why I was single until 34 and why he is still single and why many of my friends are single.

Here it is. We want the X factor. The X factor is the thing that you can't explain. When they are in the room you get the tingles and the chills. We want that. We have been taught by Hollywood that you have to fall in love and be swept off your feet. We have to wait for the one. "The One" might as well be Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.

You know when I met the one...after I said I do and Pastor Tim Hawks announced to the world who my wife was.

Sure there were tingles and shivers when Adrienne and I started to get to know each other. But feelings will change. They are fickle. If you watch how many times Hollywood stars fall in and out of love you would think that their feelings were tied to meteorology reports from the weather channel.

So culturally we are indoctrinated with "the one"

More posts to come on this.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

As Close as you choose to Be

As Close As You Choose To Be
Our fast paced world wants us to be relevant, wants us to be in touch. We want to answer every email, solve every problem, somehow delete the email we sent in haste off our boss’s computer before he gets to work in the morning or before he downloads it on his smartphone. And the sad thing is we are able to do it all. We are able to do three deals at once. We are able to make a board see the light and come around to the vision we’ve cast. We pull off the speech, the presentation, picked up the kids from practice sent three emails on the way home and put dinner on the table. We do it all and then we become impatient with the impotent fools who struggle. We sometimes snicker to ourselves or laugh openly at those mental midgets who have befallen our path. If they weren’t around, we could get a lot more done.
It’s then we start to realize the coldness of our hearts has saturated our soul and we feel far from God. No grave sin, per say, but a coolness that is painful to endure. We cover it up with a smile, a laugh, a backslap hug and a “let’s do lunch.” We know in our heads we could be closer to God, but where do we even start with how busy our schedule is. People need us. God gets put on the back burner.
There are a few out there that drink deeply of the cool waters of His Word to refresh the Soul. There are some who find a quiet place where we let the world drift away and all that matters is that we have this incredible connection with God and He takes those boulder worries off our shoulders like flicking off a flake of dandruff.
The reality is we submit to busyness. Busyness is our god. James speaks to us.
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
                                                                                    --James 4:8-10
No wonder you can’t defeat the anger. No wonder temptation defeats you. No wonder the devil’s been winning. You have been worshipping a god who cannot refill what you have poured out. You have once again been serving yourself under the guise of serving God and others. Come near to God and He will come near to you. You are as close to God as you choose to be.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

praying for the one

So I have been cruising the blogosphere and Andrea Lucado posted a cool blog that got my head thinking. She asked the question, "Is it wrong to pray for my future spouse?" Her answer was essentially yes....Kind of like praying for a BMW. At first a lot of scripture went through my mind like Philippians 4:6 Don't be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition present your requests to God.

So I don't think praying is wrong ever about anything, but I do agree with Andrea's premise, although my reasoning might be different. She looked at marriage like a BMW...an awesome bonus to an otherwise glorious life in Christ.

So here is where I differ. I wasn't made to be single. I can say that now that I am married ;), When I was single I was on facebook stalking every girl I was friends with trying to decipher if that person might be "the one." Don't judge you've done it too. You probably just paused stalking long enough to read this.

But here is the deal and my wife will attest to this, I wasn't ready to be married until I prayed for my wife. I put ridiculous standards up for women to meet. The way they looked had to be a certain way. I conformed to the culture on that. The way they treated me had to be a certain way...kind of along the lines of independent Baptist or old school church of Christ. They had to have a certain level of style, they had to have a certain ability to converse about politics or know who Michael Medved is. Their hair had to have a certain look. Look I'm not kidding...and for some of you, you can pick up your jaw at my shallowness or the fact that I just read your mail.

So here is what happened to me. I started really praying that God would bring me a wife. I realized that it wasn't good for me to be alone. I needed a partner. I needed a companion. I needed to have sex. I needed a completion to what God had said in the garden wasn't perfect in a perfect world. I needed a wife. So I asked him.

I really asked him. I used to pray for God to bring me a wife like most guys dream up their favorite sports cars on the corvette website. This much horsepower, these kind of curves, this kind of gas mileage and so on. But this time, I prayed that God would bring me a wife. One for me. Not one that I would order out of a magazine, but a life partner that only God as my perfect Father would know.

So here is what happened. I toned down my view of women. It went from this Weird Science meets Mother Theresa to a woman filled with the Spirit ready to do ministry. God changed my heart.

So I prayed specifically that God would bring me the right one and then it turned out I already knew her. Weird right?

So listen...it's not about praying for the right one, it's about praying to be the right one.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I'm married

I guess this is the new landing spot for all my blogs. I am currently at the airport with my new wife Adrienne. Kinda weird sitting next to another person who has my last name and isn't a parent. Marriage is awesome by the way, but it doesn't come with out its speed bumps. I think I am starting to see what Gary Thomas was talking about when he said marriage doesn't make you happy it makes you holy.

I'm going to write  a series of blogs on this particular issue. Stay tuned.