Here is a recent facebook message I received. Tell me what you think. Remember, she is a friend, so she will read it:
I need some help. Do you have any sermons or discussions on marriage and the bible? What is the Bible's description of marriage? Can you be "married" in God's eyes but not be legally married? I don't think God's idea of being married meant you have to file taxes together, buy a home together and share each others debt! If two people are committed to one another and intend on spending their lives together then wouldn't that be considered "married" in the eyes of God? Does someone have to sign a piece of paper and file taxes together for God to consider them married?
Here is part of the problem...more background from the writer. Names and exact dollar amounts have been changed to protect the innocent
ReplyDeleteThe background to this is Harold and I have been together for over 5 years. We live together and are committed to each other. His mother has been hounding me about getting married for 2 years now saying that she is woried about our souls and we are living in sin because we are not married. The reason as to why I have been hesitant to walk down the isle is:
#1I am still working on Harold and his spending habits. He doesn't think it is important to pay his bills so he has serious bad debt from lots of different places. It is mostly little things (didn't pay a bill of from years ago and medical bills from a couple years back) but all of the little things add up to over $10,000. I have tried and tried to get them paid off but then he goes and spends the money on something else instead of paying bills.
#2We are trying to buy a house and as long as we are not married then we can buy a house with just my credit and my information. If we are married then they look at his credit score which would prohibit us from getting approved for a loan.
#3 Once we get married then all future debt that he acquires would be joint so they can try and come after me to get payment. It is getting a little bit better as far as him understanding that just as he expects to be paid for work done so do the people that send him bills for various things.
We grew up in very different families. My parents taught us early about the importance of saving money for both emergency's now and saving for the future. His family was a buy now pay later or never. I am a "save the money up for the big tv then go buy it with cash" kindof person whereas he is a "I think I want a new tv, go to the store and put it on your credit card and then maybe someday we will pay it back" kindof person. His mother still lives paycheck to paycheck, doesn't know how she is going to pay rent, and is always having to borrow money from us...she has a job plus social security, she just does not know how to budget and live within her budget. They want steak for dinner every night, but can't even afford hamburger...and I am slowly getting Harold to see my side of things.
So my point to all of this is I was looking in the Bible and searching online about marriage. From what I understand, marriage is a commitment to one another and a commitment to keep the relationship holy according to God's word. Marriage doesn't mean you sign a piece of paper that is a legal document that makes both parties responsible for the other person's bad debt. Just because you "get married" and sign a piece of paper does not mean you are committed to one another, it doesn't mean you will remain faithful to one another. It is just a piece of paper that legally binds you to one another...it has nothing to do with God's plan for marriage.
So I wanted to know your thoughts and know what the Bible says about marriage.